How to Ask for a Raise in English Without Apologizing
· 10 min read · Breakers Academy
There is a specific way this goes wrong, and it has almost nothing to do with your English level.
You book the meeting. You have the evidence. Then you open your mouth and out comes: "Sorry, I know this is probably a bad time, but I was just wondering if maybe there was any possibility of, um, discussing my salary — if that's okay?" Twenty-eight words to say a thing that takes seven. Your manager has now heard, before any of your arguments, that even you are not sure you should be asking.
That opening is not a grammar mistake. It is a register mistake — and it is the single most fixable thing about this conversation.
Why the apology comes out in English and not in your first language
The apology appears in English because you are working with a smaller set of polite forms, so you compensate by adding more of them. In Spanish, Portuguese or Russian you have verb forms, diminutives and fixed courtesy formulas that carry politeness invisibly. English carries it in modals and hedges — "could", "would", "when you get a chance" — and when you are not sure those are enough, the instinct is to stack extra softeners on top.
The result is a sentence that is grammatically flawless and strategically fatal. There is a real difference between the two things:
- A hedge softens the request. "Could you send that over by Friday?" — still a request, still confident. This is correct, normal English.
- An apology undermines the requester. "Sorry to bother you about this again…" — you have just agreed that you are a bother.
Softening is good English. Apologizing for existing is not politeness, and American managers do not read it as respect. They read it as uncertainty, and uncertainty is contagious in a negotiation.
The four sentences that carry the whole conversation
Almost all of a raise conversation is handled by four sentences. Everything else is listening.
- The ask for the meeting (in writing, separate from the meeting): "Do you have twenty minutes this week? I'd like to talk about my compensation."
- The opening line: "Thanks for making the time. I'd like to talk about moving my salary to $95,000."
- The evidence: "Over the last year I've taken on [X], and since [month] I've been the person handling [Y]. Based on that, and on what the role pays in this market, $95,000 feels right to me."
- The close: silence. You stop. You let them speak first.
That fourth one is the hardest and the most important. After you name a number, the silence is working for you: whoever breaks it first is usually the one who gives something away. Most people cannot tolerate three seconds of silence in a second language, so they fill it — usually by negotiating against themselves ("…but obviously I understand if that's too much"). Count to five in your head. Let it be quiet.
How do you name a number without sounding greedy?
Attach the number to the work, not to your needs, and say it as a statement rather than a question. In US business English, a specific figure reads as prepared. A vague one reads as unprepared, and it invites the smallest increase the company can offer.
Compare:
| Weak | Why it fails | Strong |
|---|---|---|
| "I was hoping for a little more." | No number, no basis. Invites a token offer. | "I'd like to move to $95,000." |
| "Can I get a raise?" | Yes/no question. Easy to answer "not right now". | "I'd like to talk about moving my salary to $95,000, and here's why." |
| "I need more money because rent went up." | Ties pay to your costs, not your value. | "The scope of the role has grown, and I'd like the salary to reflect that." |
| "Whatever you think is fair." | Hands the decision away entirely. | "$95,000 is where I think this lands. What are your thoughts?" |
| "Everyone else on the team earns more." | Turns it into a complaint about others. | "Based on what I've seen this role pay in the market, I'm below range." |
The phrase that does the most work here is "based on". "Based on the scope I'm covering now…", "Based on what this role pays in the market…". It signals that the number came from somewhere outside your feelings, which is exactly the thing your manager needs in order to argue for you with their own boss.
If you want to check what "the market" actually is before you pick a figure, Glassdoor and Payscale cover most roles, Levels.fyi is worth using if you work in tech, and the US Bureau of Labor Statistics' Occupational Employment and Wage Statistics (OEWS) tables are free and give wage percentiles by occupation for the nation, each state and hundreds of metro areas. Whatever you use, be ready to say where the number came from in one sentence.
The vocabulary you actually need
Ten words and phrases cover most of this conversation. Getting them right removes the small hesitations that make you sound less certain than you are.
| Term | What it means | Example |
|---|---|---|
| a raise | An increase in your regular pay (US) | "I'd like to ask for a raise." |
| a pay rise | The British version | Understood in the US, but marks you as non-American |
| compensation | Everything you're paid: salary, bonus, equity, benefits | "I'd like to talk about my compensation." |
| salary band / pay range | The min–max the company pays for your role level | "Where am I in the band right now?" |
| merit increase | An increase tied to performance | "Is this handled through the merit increase cycle?" |
| cost-of-living adjustment (COLA) | An increase tied to inflation, not performance | "Is that a COLA or a merit increase?" |
| performance review / comp cycle | The scheduled time when pay is decided | "When does the comp cycle close?" |
| scope | How much responsibility the role covers | "The scope of the job has grown." |
| to take on | To accept extra responsibility | "I took on the reporting in March." |
| market rate | What other employers pay for the same job | "I'm below market rate for this role." |
One pronunciation note: compensation is stressed on the third syllable — com-pen-SA-tion. Salary has three syllables with the stress on the first: SAL-a-ry, not "sa-LA-ry". Both words will come up several times in a five-minute conversation, so they are worth ten seconds of practice.
What to say when your manager pushes back
Expect pushback, and treat it as the middle of the conversation rather than the end of it. There are roughly six things a manager says, and each has a response that keeps the conversation alive.
| What they say | What it usually means | What you say |
|---|---|---|
| "There's no budget right now." | Timing problem, not a value problem | "I understand. Can we put a date on the calendar to revisit it — say, the first week of April? And what would you need to see from me by then?" |
| "Let me think about it." | They need to check with someone above them | "Of course. Would it help if I sent you a short summary by email so you have it in writing?" |
| "Increases are only decided in December." | Process constraint | "That works. I'd like to be considered for an increase in that cycle — what's the best way to make sure I'm on the list?" |
| "You're already at the top of your band." | Structural ceiling — this is real | "That's useful to know. Then I'd like to talk about what moving to the next level would involve." |
| "Why do you think you deserve more?" | A genuine request for evidence | "Three things. First… Second… Third…" — then stop. |
| "That number is higher than I expected." | They are negotiating | "I based it on the scope and on market range. What range did you have in mind?" |
Two phrases to keep in your pocket for the whole meeting. "Help me understand…" — "Help me understand how the band is set" — is neutral, non-confrontational, and gets you information. And "Can we put a date on it?" converts every soft answer into something you can follow up on without seeming pushy.
The email that books the meeting
Keep it to three lines. The purpose is only to get the slot; the argument happens in the room.
Subject: Quick meeting this week?
Hi [Name],
Do you have twenty minutes sometime this week? I'd like to talk
about my compensation. Happy to work around your calendar.
Thanks,
[First name]
If you are asked to put the details in writing afterwards, that is usually a good sign rather than a brush-off — most managers cannot approve a raise on their own, and a written summary is what they take to whoever can. Send a short summary the same day: the number, three bullet points of evidence, and one line saying you are happy to discuss it further.
What if the answer is no?
A "no" is only a failure if you leave without a date and without criteria. Before the meeting ends, get two things: when this will be revisited, and what specifically has to be true by then.
The sentences that do it:
- "I understand this isn't the right moment. When would be a better time to look at it again?"
- "What would you need to see from me for this to be a yes in six months?"
- "Can I send you a short note summarizing what we agreed, so we're both working from the same list?"
That last one matters more than it looks. A verbal "we'll look at it next quarter" evaporates. The same sentence in an email, unchallenged, becomes something you can reopen with "Following up on what we discussed in March…". You are not being difficult; you are being organized, and organized is a compliment in American offices.
How to practise this before you are in the room
Rehearse out loud, standing up, in English, until the first two sentences and the number come out without thinking. Reading them silently does not work — the failure point is not comprehension, it is production under stress, and the only fix is production under low stress first.
A practical version:
- Record yourself saying the opening line and the number. Play it back. If you hear "sorry", "just", "maybe", or a rising question intonation on the number, do it again.
- Say the number as a full stop, not a question. "$95,000." Not "$95,000?"
- Practise the silence. Say your number, then count five seconds out loud.
- Prepare exactly three pieces of evidence with dates and specifics. Not five. Three.
- Have someone play the manager and interrupt you with "there's no budget", so the first time you hear it is not the real time.
This is exactly the kind of thing our Business English program is built around — rehearsing the specific high-pressure conversations adults actually have at work, in the right register, until they stop requiring courage. If the conversation you are preparing for is unusual or the timing is tight, private English classes let you drill one scenario repeatedly with someone playing the other side.
A free PDF of 40 real phrases for the American office, grouped by situation — asking for help, disagreeing politely, giving a status update, and following up by email without sounding pushy. No signup required.
Frequently asked questions
What do you say to start a conversation about a raise?
Ask for the meeting first, in a separate message: "Do you have twenty minutes this week? I'd like to talk about my compensation." Then open the meeting itself with one sentence — "I'd like to talk about moving my salary to $X" — and follow it with your evidence. Naming the topic up front is normal and expected in US workplaces.
Should I say "raise" or "salary increase"?
Both are correct in US English. "Raise" is the everyday word ("ask for a raise", "get a raise"), and "salary increase" or "compensation adjustment" is the formal written version you would use in an email to HR. "Pay rise" is British; it is understood in the US but marks you as non-American.
Is it rude to name a specific number when asking for a raise?
No. In US business culture, naming a specific figure is read as prepared, not greedy. "I'd like to move to $95,000" gives your manager something concrete to take upstairs. A vague request like "I was hoping for something more" usually produces a vague answer or the smallest possible increase.
How do I ask for a raise in English if I'm not confident speaking?
Write the first two sentences and the number word for word, and rehearse them out loud until they come out without thinking. The rest of the meeting is mostly listening and short answers. You can also say "Let me put that in an email so you have the details in writing" — using written English to carry the detail is a legitimate strategy, not a weakness.
What should I say if my manager says there's no budget?
Do not end the conversation there. Say: "I understand. Can we put a date on the calendar to revisit it — say, the first week of April? And in the meantime, what would you need to see from me?" That turns a refusal into a deadline and a written list of criteria.
The one thing to remember
Delete the apology and keep the number. "I'd like to talk about moving my salary to $95,000" is a complete, polite, professional English sentence — it needs no preamble, no "sorry to bother you", and no softening at the end. Say it, give your three reasons, and then let the silence do the rest of the work.